I have really enjoyed Jack during his 12-16 month stage, but looking back it's felt like a long road to get to this point sometimes!
The 0-4 month stage was tough trying to balance breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, crazy hormones, sleep deprivation, the bewitching hours of 5-8pm when he cried every night for no good reason, oh yeah, and sleep deprivation.
4-6 months got a lot better once he started sleeping longer and became a little more interactive, but then the next hurdle so to speak was transitioning to solid foods. That always brings it's own set of issues for each child, like exponentially stinkier poopy diapers and lots more mess at dinner time. But overall, for me I began to find motherhood a lot more enjoyable.
Then the 6-12 month range set in, where mobility became the next big adjustment as he learned to pull up and crawl (and for some of you, your children began walking). That stage also brought with it a new set of adjustments for us, like plastic outlet covers, baby-proofing the kitchen cabinets, and of course our "baby jail", the affectionate term my husband coined for our gameroom upstairs that has been sectioned off with a winding baby gate. And again, as he got older, I found myself enjoying being a mom more and more each day.
So this 12-16 month stage has been a ton of fun, especially now that he's walking and talking quite a bit. We can get out and do a lot more, and my back has been much happier as well. I'm beginning to foresee though the next big adjustment that's coming with this stage (or the next): discipline. That's not to say there haven't been times up until this point that we haven't told him no, or redirected his attention to something else, but he's not doing those things out of outright defiance yet, so I haven't really looked at it as discipline in a formal sense.
I was having lunch with a friend on Wednesday who's son is a few months older than Jack. She mentioned giving him time-outs when he kept doing something over and over again despite her telling him no. I admit to being skeptical that time-outs would really work on an 18-month old (or in Jack's case almost 16 months), but she says it definitely got his attention and at least for a short time stopped the behavior she was trying to change. That got me thinking about trying it myself for those times when "no" and redirecting just don't seem to work.
So my questions for those of you out there with older children are: 1) When did you start time-outs, 2) How does a typical time-out work for you (where is the time-out spot, how long, etc), 3) Do/did you find it effective for a child under 18 months, and 4) Looking back would you do anything differently? Could you also compare-contrast time-out effectiveness for under versus over 18 months......Just kidding, didn't mean for these questions to read like a test :)
Thanks!
About Me
- looneybinmom
- Houston, TX
- A Texas mom riding the ups and downs of motherhood along with my wonderful husband, OCD dachshund Haley (a compulsive licker), my faith, and a good stiff cup of coffee (or a few) each morning.
3 comments:
Time outs work for us. I'm not sure the exact month we started - but it was around 18 months. Now, I ususally just have to threaten a time out and he straightens out. (speaking of - it is important to always follow through on your threats - so don't threaten if you aren't willing to do it). At first he thought time outs were fun - and that is because i was having to sit there with him to get him to stay there. around 21 months, I started sitting him there and leaving - the first time I had to put him back several times before he would stay on his own - but now, after that - he will stay on his own every time. I even use this in an empty class room at church when he isn't listening (now that I know he understands and is purposefully not listening). I usually put him in the dining room corner where he really can't see the rest of the house. We have a spot upstairs too. Here is what I do: I squat down and say "You are in time out because.... Stay here for...minutes" And sit him down. Then when I go back to get him, I say, "You were in time out because... Can you say you're sorry? (there is a sign for this) Give me a hug. You are all done with time out" - Pretty much the same thing every time. Right now, I leave him almost his age in minutes (I'm trying to work up to his age). There are a lot of people who don't use time outs as a punishment - they use it as a reflective time for thinking about what you did wrong. I think it is ok to punish your child - so this is how I use it. Was that long enough :)
Thanks Kami-that's what I was looking for and seems to be in line with what I've heard a number of other moms say. One of the women in my bible study made a good point when she said it's important to let the child know the time out is over so that they're not worried mom or dad is still upset with them. Seems like closure is a good thing for both kids and adults!
Kate,
My pediatrician recommended time out at 15 months for both of my children. If you have a hard time with him staying put as they usually do if they are the first child, put them in their room and shut the door. You may want to move most of the toys to the game room. Time out should last as long as they are old. So at this point about 1.5 mins.
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