Top 10 things not to say to a pregnant woman

Ok, there are many more that could be added...enjoy!

10. Any labor horror stories, especially for a first-time mom. I was pretty lucky here in that most of the women I talked with when I was pregnant with Jack were very encouraging and positive about their labor experiences, but I've had friends who have heard some doosies.

9. "Get as much sleep as you can now, it will be worse after the baby comes." Not really that bad, but it just gets a little old. I'm not intentionally depriving myself of sleep as often as possible just to see what it feels like, trust me. I love walking around like a zombie!

8. "Was she/he an accident" or "Was she/he an oopsie?"-Ok, you can maybe get away with this with a close friend (depending on the definition of "close"), but never just an acquaintance and certainly NOT a stranger. I would say "unplanned pregnancy" is a better choice of words than "oopsie" any day!

7. "Watch out, wide load ahead!"-I got this one walking down a pretty narrow hall down in our old church in Virginia. Guess I wasn't waddling fast enough for the traffic behind me....

6. Any phrase with the word "rotund" in it, even it's preceded or followed by some form of the word beautiful/lovely/glowing, etc. I assure you that any other positive comment does not even register with the pregnant woman if paired with rotund. Note: This was from the same person that made the wide load comment, and while I typically avoid gender bashing, I'll leave it to your powers of deduction to figure out which sex it came from.

5. "Please don't go into labor on us now!" I got this one back during Ike after walking into a Chick-Fil-A (and I'm sure it was well-intentioned). It was made all the worse though because I was no where near close to going into labor, which was just another unneeded reminder of how big my belly already was. And believe me, as much as I love the outstanding customer service at Chick-Fil-A, I have no intention of going into labor there.

4. "I'm beginning to see the weight gain in your face."-Ugggg is all I can say here. Again, I assure you that pregnant women are well aware of every square inch of weight they've gained.

3. "Cankles are sexy." I'm happy to say my husband has never uttered anything remotely close to this despite the days when you couldn't tell where my feet stopped and my calves started. You take your ankles for granted until a little thing called swelling hits in the second or third trimester...

2. "How far along are you? ______ weeks. Oh, you're only ______ weeks along?" One of two implications follows:

1. "Geez woman, time to cut back on the ice cream!" OR
   
2. "Geez woman, are you starving your kid?"

Neither of these options are really good, though I guess I would tend to prefer the implication of looking smaller, but I know this is really touchy too for some moms. Both imply some level of abnormality, and no pregnant woman needs any additional ammunition to feel more abnormal or unlike her usual self than she already does. Raging hormones, achy joints, sleep-deprivation, and this little person using your insides for kickboxing practice already do enough in achieving this goal.

1. As the due date approaches, any form of "Still no baby yet, eh?" or "You're still here?"-I got the "You're still here?" a number of times at the end of my pregnancy with Jack when I kept showing up at church on Sunday mornings (I wasn't even past my due date). Ok, remember when I said that a pregnant woman is well aware of how much weight she has gained and where she's gained it? Well, the only thing a pregnant woman is MORE aware of, especially by the last few weeks of pregnancy, is how much time she's got left until the due date. She, more than anyone else, is 110% aware of the fact that the baby has not been born yet. No reminders are necessary.