Engaging God

Hello friends!

I'm planning to update this blog more frequently again after a break, whohoo! Some slight changes though...I feel like God has been hard at work on me the last year or so, and those things need to be shared, so I'm planning more of a mix of mommy adventures and some musings on what He's done in my life.

This came to a head last May when a friend of mine in my MOPS group asked me to share my "testimony" (religious speak for how God has worked in my life) with the other moms. That forced me to perform a spiritual inventory of my life, so I collected my thoughts and wrote them down since, in my humble opinion, I write better than I speak. It was a life-changing exercise, so I thought I would share it here to jump back into ye ol' blogosphere (ok, I promise no more use of the word "ye"). It's long, so I'll break it up.

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Engaging God

Motherhood has been the single greatest force in shaping, or should I say reshaping my walk with God. I grew up in the church, going every Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and Wednesday evening for many years with my family. I knew lots of Bible trivia, all the Bible songs, and all the “right” answers. I went to church camp for four years, a wonderful place in the mountains of New Mexico, and got baptized there by my youth minister in the seventh grade (in a VERY cold mountain stream). All of those experiences I count as blessings in my life and I am deeply grateful for them.

When I look back though through a more critical lens, I see that for most of my early life, probably until my mid 20’s, I knew a lot about God, but I didn’t really know Him. I didn’t really have a relationship with Him, at least not a two-sided one. I did the church thing and tried my best during the week to live the way I thought a Christian should live, and of course messed up quite royally in the process. I did little outside of church to seek Him; occasional Bible study and very, very little prayer….think “Lord please help me do well on this test!” and you get the gist of the depth of my prayers. In all honesty, I was a Christian completely unengaged with God.

I think a large reason for the complacency in my faith walk has been a life blessed with little in the way of major distress. My immediate family members are alive and healthy (and on speaking terms!), I was raised in a stable, Christian household with a roof over my head and no worries about where my next meal would come from. I’ve had great friendships, ample opportunity and support from my parents to explore my interests, and financial support to pursue two degrees in college. I married a wonderful man and have two beautiful, healthy kids. In short, while my life hasn’t been totally stress- free, it’s been relatively easy. The peril, though, from this complacent faith has been two-fold: it’s fueled a false sense of security that I am in control, and a false sense of pride that I can do things on my own without help. Neither of those things had, prior to motherhood, allowed room for me to consistently seek an authentic relationship with God.

Enter motherhood, stage right. Nothing strips away the security net of I’m-in-control like becoming a parent. Case in point, a trip to the Container Store where my then 15 month-old son’s explosive diaper gurgled up all over the shopping cart right in the middle of the store, leaving me mortified and rushing out to the van as quickly as possible. And yes, for those of you wondering, I did go back, quite embarrassed, and ask a nice cashier for some disinfectant so I could clean the shopping cart up. Or the time when we took Jack to the emergency room with a 104 fever. When the doctor ordered a chest X-ray to make sure it wasn’t pneumonia, my heart broke as I had to help the technician stretch Jack out on a cold, hard plate while he screamed hysterically so the machine could get a good scan of his lungs. Those are just a few examples of probably hundreds.

The I’m-not-in-control lesson has been easier for me to learn compared to the I-cannot-do-it-on-my-own lesson. It is here that once again, motherhood came in and toppled that tower of pride, forcing me to realize that I can’t do it alone. And despite the wonderful help available to me from my husband, family, and friends, I ultimately need to seek help from God.

This came to a head a few months ago during a rough time with Anna. We mommies don’t function well on broken sleep, but unfortunately, our precious infant babies just don’t understand that do they? Morning after morning I would wake up crabby after being up with Anna multiple times during the night, barely speaking to Bob at breakfast and struggling to even muster a semi-cheerful “Hi” to my sweet son Jack. I was exhausted and the day hadn’t even started yet…how was I going to keep up with my two-year-old too? I was resentful of the fact that feeding her fell solely to me (she wouldn’t take a bottle at that time), which meant I was pretty much always up when she was up. I wanted to be able to roll over and go back to sleep like Bob did, instead of dragging myself up the stairs to change the diaper of a screaming baby before nursing her and then struggling to swaddle her in a blanket so she would go back to sleep. On top of all that, he got to escape to work 5 days a week!! In fairness to Bob though, he deserved none of my attitude because he’s a great dad who has always helped out 110% with the kids. Still though, this ugliness I carried around until about 10AM each morning (when the three cups of coffee finally kicked in) began to take a toll on him, because when mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy. He never knew which wife he was going to come home to: Wife #1 who had managed to cheer up a bit by late afternoon, or Wife #2 who had been in a perpetual state of grumpiness all day. I often lashed out at Jack too, for no good reason. No wonder he went through a period of always wanting his daddy, I wouldn’t have wanted to be around me either!

Part #2 tomorrow :)

No rest for mommy anymore!

I'm entering uncharted territory here with Anna getting awfully close to walking AND climbing up our stairs completely unaided...at only 9 months. Jack was much more content to sit and watch things going on around him, but not this girl...she has to be in it!! He didn't walk (consistently at least) until about 15 months...I think she'll be closer to 10 or maybe 11 months.

I think I had my eye off of Anna for maybe 30 seconds the other day while I was putting some dishes away in the kitchen and nearly had a heart attack when I saw her halfway up our flight of stairs (and still going). She was quite proud of herself too, beaming up proudly at me as I quickly scooped her off the stairs and back down to our living room. Unfortunately our stairwell is not set up to attach a babygate to the bottom of the stairs, so I'm gonna have to get creative. Jack never showed much interest in the stairs, so I never really closed them off for him...just keep a wary eye out when he was playing by himself. I can't do that with her!

I was remarking to my mom the other day about how my children are so different already and Anna isn't even a year yet. She's hit a lot of the physical milestones a lot sooner than he did, although I'm sure some of it is just being the little sister wanting to do what big brother is doing. She's a lot more assertive at a younger age as well...there is no fear with her in crawling up in Jack's lap and tugging a toy out of his hand. I'm sure that skill will continue to serve her well with an older brother!!

I love the quirkiness of each of my kids. and mean that in the best way possible. Those quirks make them unique and so endearing to me, I just couldn't imagine them any differently (and likewise for all moms)! Jack has developed a fantastic speaking ability and sense of humor, and Anna has this little bobble she does side-to-side with her head that makes it impossible not to smile at her....I've got to get some video and post it. She's my bobble-head girl :)

No rest for me anymore...well, very occasionally!

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On a totally unrelated note...so sad. We haven't watched the show in a while now.

http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jmeath/2009/08/20/jon-and-kate-separate/

PTC: The rest in a nutshell

I had planned to talk about each day in the first week of potty training Jack, but it's been a little too long now to remember the details, so I figured I would hit the highlights:

Wednesday: Bob took Jack to the potty and told him to let him know when he was done. Jack proceeded to do his business while entertaining himself with our kitchen timer. Bob poked his head around the corner and asked, "Whatcha doin' Jack?" Jack replied: "Just checking my email dad." Oh man, that was the highlight of our day!!!!

Thursday: The first time I did not have to change a poopy diaper or pull-up since Jack was born. Whohoo!! We ran to the dollar store so Jack could pick out a toy (he had 10 stickers on his reward chart at this point...I think it worked really well as a motivator for him). He loved his pink car, which he then proceeded to lose the next day. Oh well...good thing it was only a buck.

Friday: Ummm, I think more of the same...a few small accidents, but overall Jack was making progress!!!

The other highlight was taking him to Wal-Mart last week to buy a Hot Wheels monster truck to reward him further for doing so well. The truck has Donkey Kong on it, the beloved Nintendo character of us 80's kids...except that Jack insists on calling him Konkey Dong. Gonna have to work on this one...

Fast forward to today (about 3 weeks after I started potty training): he's now back in big boy underwear! The last two days he's pretty much gone accident free, so I'm going to brave the underwear with him again this week, only this time I think he's much more ready! We'll see...

Next up, Anna is getting ready to walk...at 9 months??

PTC: Day 2

Day 2 started off a bit better than Day 1, mainly because I was feeling a little more confident in what to expect for the day.

My sister and her kids came over for the morning, which was a great distraction. In fact it was TOO good a distraction. Jack managed to stay dry through the morning, but once he got playing with Lexi and Nate, he was totally unaware of when he needed to go. So the next three hours or so he had a few accidents, but at least it wore him out for the nap that afternoon!! Plus, seeing Lexi and Nate use the bathroom was good motivation for him.

During his nap, I managed to create a basic chart for him so he could put stickers up every time he was successful in using the potty. I quickly realized M&M's were going to be too much sugar, especially if he did it before naptime or bedtime, so my mom mentioned a chart and then letting him pick a toy out from the dollar store once he got enough stickers (I set the limit at 10). I thought that sounded like a good idea, so we did that! He liked getting to pick out the stickers to put on the chart...it doesn't take much to motivate this child :)

We had some more successes that afternoon after his cousins left, so I continued to feel pretty good about his progress! I still hadn't ventured out for more than 30 minutes yet so that we wouldn't be far from a bathroom, that outing was coming up for Wednesday...

PTC: Day 1

As I mentioned in the previous post, I woke up Monday morning really dreading this whole week (I know, I know, my attitude wasn't good) of being stuck inside the house. But, at least I had a game plan after talking to my sister and some other mom friends about what they did to potty train their kids. Jack seemed to be willing to at least try, so I figured I would give it a full-throttle effort this week and then re-evaluate after 7 days to see if I should keep going or stop and pick it up again at a later date.

Mistake #1 was using up all the coffee the day before and not buying anymore at the store before this week started. I pretty much need at least one cup of coffee before you can ask me a question and expect to get a response (two cups to get a coherent response), let alone have the mental clarity and patience to put a toddler on a potty multiple times a day. I was not a happy camper to open up my kitchen cabinet and realize there would be no cup-o-joe early that morning, and since I was going to potty train Jack in underwear, I REALLY didn't want to risk running to the store to get more.

My sister mentioned she thought that taking the plunge into underwear was the way to go so that the potty training wasn't prolonged with pull-ups, so that's what we did (mistake #2). I washed all of his underwear the day before and as soon as he got up that morning we put him in underwear. We had breakfast, I waited about 30 minutes and then put him on the potty upstairs. He was able to go, so I had my first taste of success. That eased my concerns that maybe this wasn't going to be so bad...

...until 5 minutes later when then first accident happened, so I changed his clothes and underwear, cleaned the carpet, and let him try to go again with no luck. Then another accident happened again about 10 minutes later downstairs in the laundry room followed by a repeat of the steps above. By this time I was starting to get a little worried that I was going to be cleaning up accidents every 15 minutes for the rest of the day and that maybe he really wasn't ready to do this just yet. The thought depressed me because I had mentally adjusted to the thought of only one child in diapers...I didn't want to go back to two in diapers!!

After climbing back upstairs, I tried him again on the potty, he went, and we headed downstairs for a snack. Then another accident happened. Uggggg. After three accidents in about an hour and a half, I needed some words of encouragment to keep going, so I called my husband and my mom, who both said something along the lines of "Use the pull-ups!!" Hmmm, now why didn't I think of that??

After switching Jack into a pull-up, the day went along a lot smoother. At least I wasn't anxious the entire time waiting for him to have an accident, so we could go a little longer between bathroom trips (which was getting exhausting to walk up and down the stairs...more on this later). I also asked my dear mother if she could bring a cup of coffee over to me, which she graciously did. She also hung around through lunch for moral support and offered some suggestions for rewards for Jack. I had M&M's, but that was quickly going to get to be too much sugar, so I switched to stickers and a chart instead. After 10 stickers, I planned to let him go to the dollar store to pick out of toy. That got him pretty excited!!

Now about the stairs...I started potty training him upstairs because we have a bathroom right by the game room, and I figured I could keep Anna penned up in there while I took Jack to the potty every 30 minutes. At this point he was only going on the little stand-alone potty and wouldn't go on the portable ones that just fit into a regular toilet seat (which we had for the bathrooms downstairs), so every time he needed to go I rushed upstairs with him (and Anna!). Yeah, that got old really fast. While I was cringing at the thought of spending money for a second potty, I finally broke down and asked my mom if she could grab another stand-alone one for me that I could put downstairs. This turned out to the best decision I had made thus far (after switching to the pull-ups)!

Bob finally made it home from work later that afternoon, which helped so that I didn't have to keep an eye on both Anna and Jack. Jack was still getting used to sitting on his potty and had some more successes, though he was still having accidents in his pull-ups between trips. Overall I was slowly feeling a little bit better about how things were going, at least enough to keep with it for a week.

So here's what I learned from day one:

1) Don't forget the coffee!!

2) What works for some moms doesn't work for every mom (duh)....My sister had quick success with underwear with her son , who is only a few days older than Jack, because his temperament is much different and he was a lot more ready to train (being the second child and watching his sister go). And when I say different...Nate is two and a half and can already make it in the potty standing up without, ummm, hitting the seat.....amazing!! I needed to try a different route with Jack because he's very different than Nate, and that's ok!

3) Call friends, family, whoever for moral support if you need some encouragement.

4) Relax your standards...at least for my perfectionist self, I had to give up on the idea that Jack would be perfectly potty trained in a week. Instead, I made it my goal to 1) just get him used to this new process, and 2) to begin to recognize when he feels like he needs to go.

Next up, Day 2....

Potty Training Chronicles

So I thought I would chronicle my first week of trying to potty train Jack this week, hitting the highs and lows each day. I realize I'm writing on a Thursday about what happened on a Monday (and before), but I've just been so tired each evening I haven't wanted to sit down and think enough to blog!! So, without further adieu...

Pre-potty training: Bob and I had been trying Jack on the "big boy" potty every once in a while over the last few weeks to see how he did and whether he was really ready to try. I think that question was the hardest for me to answer...How do you know when your child is ready? Jack certainly wasn't resistive to sitting on the potty, and had begun to tell me when he needed a diaper change, but still didn't really seem to recognize the feeling of needing to "go". I guess that realization develops sooner for some kids than others. Jack doesn't miss a beat in the world around him, but when it comes to his own body, he's not super interested in it just yet!

The first time we had success on the potty was about a week ago at my parents house. He managed to go, and we made a HUGE deal out of it. He was beaming from ear to ear, and I think that REALLY got him excited about this "big boy" potty. Of course, his Grammie and Paw-Paw giving him high fives went a long way...oh, and the sprinkles he got for a treat. Yes, he loves sprinkles, just like his mom :)

So that made me think that maybe I had a fighting chance to get this show on the road and really start making an effort to get him consistently on the potty. We've got 6 weeks before mother's day out starts up again and I had a week free of major commitments this week, so I figured it was as good a time as any to at least start trying and really see if he was interested.

In preparation, my mom and I ran to Target to grab some essentials...M&M's and stickers for rewards, a little potty for him to sit on, pull-ups, and of course the big boy underwear!! At this point I had decided to just take the plunge and put him in underwear since my sister mentioned she thought pull-ups prolonged the process (more on whether this was a good idea in the next installment). Anyway, I figured if I could find him some Lightning McQueen underwear that it would seal the deal for him since he just loves Cars.

Sure enough, I found Cars, Sesame Street, and Mickey Mouse, and boy was he excited when I got home. I also pulled out the little potty I bought for him, which he proceeded to drag all over the house with a smile on his face. So far, so good...he was excited!!

I, on the other hand, was positively dreading this week. In fact I don't recall dreading something so much in a long time. I think it was because I knew I would be pretty confined to the house for a week, which is tough for me because I try to find something each day to do to get us OUT of the house! Plus sitting in the bathroom multiple times a day trying to keep him, ummm, aimed in the potty while Anna is crawling all over me just didn't sound like fun.

We put him in a pull-up Sunday night and I mentally prepared myself for this upcoming week....stay tuned for Day #1 coming soon!

Fun on the Fourth

Hope everyone had an enjoyable Fourth of July without any fireworks starting a fire in your yard (at least for my Houston friends enduring this hot and dry summer)....we had a lot of fun!

Well, the day didn't start off fun...you know you're in for a long day with a two-year-old when the first time-out is at 6:30AM!! But it definitely got better from there...we ran to Wally World by 7:30AM to grab some decorations for the kids' wagon before our neighborhood Fourth of July parade. Next it was on to Kroger at 8AM to grab a few things for dessert for the evening (more on that later). By 9:30AM we had made it home and decorated the wagon for the kids before heading up to our neighborhood clubhouse to wait for the parade to start. We basically walked about halfway down the main drag of the subdivision and back along with about 200 other parents and their kids.

The funniest thing was watching this little boy who was probably 4 or 5 trying to steer his motorized Escalade down the street...he kept ramming into another little girl in her motorized car before panicked parents would finally pull them apart, only to have the same thing happen all over again. Bob made a good point that he hoped their parents had charged the batteries on those cars before letting the kids drive them...they would've been really heavy to carry all the way back to the clubhouse with a dead battery (and most likely a crying child).

By 10:30AM we had worked up a good sweat and it was time to head home. We had some lunch, let the kids nap, and then headed to Grammie and Paw-Paw's for some good eats and swimming (in 90 degree water)...oh, and the Wii. Dinner was fabulous...the smoked brisket from HEB was delicious and mom made her potato salad, deviled eggs, and homemade BBQ sauce. I grabbed some corn and we had a Fourth of July feast. Dessert was a recipe from my mother-in-law called "All Seasons Lemon Trifle". YUM-O. It's basically layers of angel food cake, fresh fruit, and lemon yogurt/cool whip. Oh yeah....and that's all topped with toasted coconut. That and some Mario Kart sessions on the Wii left us all in a mighty good mood. Well, at least until our neighbors set off an obnoxious amount of fireworks in the street behind us. And no, I'm not a ba-hum-bug when it comes to fireworks, I just have two young children now that I want to STAY asleep. Thankfully, they did. Bob and I on the other hand didn't get to bed until pretty late. Oh well.

All in all, a great day!!