Relaxed but still on edge

Both Bob and I agree that we've been so much more relaxed this go around with baby Anna. Of course it helps tremendously that she's been a pretty happy baby so far and only cries when she's hungry or overtired. All of those issues that seemed to be a big deal with Jack, like whether to wake him up to feed him, whether he was getting enough milk, whether it was ok to let him sleep longer than 3 hours, whether we could try putting him to sleep on his side or tummy, etc. just don't stress us out. It's more of a go-with-the-flow attitude this time around and that has made a considerable difference in our stress levels for sure.

That being said, with two now the demands are definitely at least doubled...I know friends of ours have said that you get more than double the work with two kids, and some days it feels like that for sure. Despite being more relaxed in some ways, I still feel "on edge" a lot because I'm trying to anticipate my kids' needs all the time...When will Anna need her next feeding? What will Jack eat for lunch? Should I put Anna down to nap first or Jack? Do I have something to entertain Jack if we go out to eat (which isn't very often now)? Does Anna have everything she needs in her diaper bag? Extra diapers for Jack too? You moms know the list goes on and on! Everyday I more or less run through some combination of most of those questions and countless others.

I didn't really realize this though until last night when I was driving to dinner with my mother-in-law. Bob and his dad had the kids in our van, and Cindy and I took her van out to eat. So it was just her and I and....silence. It's amazing how deafening silence becomes to a mom...I literally had a fleeting moment of panic in my head when I realized how quiet it was in the car, like I had forgotten the kids or something had happened to them. There was no crying or talking or banging on toys or pulling down the sun shades on the windows and I didn't know what to do about it!! I'm so used to being in problem-solving mode as a mom (especially with two!) that I'm not good at relaxing and enjoying those fleeting times when I don't have any problems that need solving at the moment. I gotta get better at this!

So true to form, motherhood remains a continuous learning curve. A lot of things I worried about with Jack don't concern me with Anna, but having two has brought on it's own set of new challenges to tackle! Overall though, I'm enjoying it immensely.